the dog, the house, the truck, the girl

I called in sick to work tonight because I was concerned I might
kill someone who had
nothing to do with anything

I always thought mental health days sounded swishy
but now there's not a better term

My kid's mom is done with me.
Now I'm just a satellite dangling out
anywhere else

My morning felt like a country song and
I hated that. I should have drank more last night, atleast
I would have had a hangover to focus on.
Yes, water drink more water

She said she's going to take up tennis.

I picture a tennis instructor holding my kid,
all sorts of ice cream frisbee throwing excursions.
My kid calls him Jim, or something,
while sitting on his shoulders.
I take him away every other weekend,
the other dad he doesn't know as well but
tries feverishly to make something matter
for fifty two days out of the year.
Sunday night goodbyes
and watch him walk up the steps,
turn and wave before the door closes, locks,
then take quality time to
cry over the steering wheel

At least my mother likes her, that's something.
They can bond over that.